an early night

it annoys me how when you press tab after typing the title, it jumps down to the goddamn labels.  what about the body of the post?  i'm not sure what sort of labels i'm going to need until i'm done, assholes.  

that said, the past few days have been quite eventful, to say the least, and in ways both expected and not.  this whole wedding shit has been made out to be a big goddamn deal, and yet, the rehearsal dinner tonight was really anything but.  as i described it earlier to my sister, i'm just doing and acting and looking like what everyone in the family wants me to.  at this point, i don't give a shit.  my hair is three inches shorter, my nails are manicured a nice girl shade of pale pink, sans french tips as my grandmother apparently finds them to be "wildly outdated", and per my mother's instructions, i can't be doing shots of vodka as it will result in my grandmother giving her shit.  eh.  the dinner started off quite awkwardly as my sister and i appeared to be the youngest, least trashy girls at the party of forty-five by quite a long shot, but we figured it out. i didn't much care for being hit on on two separate occasions, mostly because i made a goddamn effort not to look like the slutty, bisexual, drug addled cousin.  perhaps it will be better tomorrow at the actual wedding.  i don't really know why i care so much about looking like a good girl, but it has become strangely important.  

after dinner, all of us young folks, meaning my siblings and my cousin marc, the "preacher", brent, and marc's best friend, patrick, all went out on the speed boat and just drifted around and shooting the shit.  the sun was setting, it was about seventy five, and no one was on the lake, so it was quite pleasant.  i forgot how much i like being on the lake in summer.  at this point, i'm just sortof tired despite the fact that it's only eleven twenty yet.  jaleesa is probably going crazy at demf right now.  i hope so.  though if i recall correctly, it ends quite early.  whatever.  i hope she got some attention modeling them clothes to make the steep entry fee worth her while.  

for the past few days, i've been meaning to write an actually important, well as substantial as possible for me, i suppose, post, and just haven't gotten around to it.  rather, it's not even that i'm too lazy, i'm just in a constant state of self-doubt and never know what is actually relevant to all y'all.  it is, i guess.  ehh, i'll reconsider tomorrow, tonight has been too long already considering last night...AHHH THE PLANTS!!!!

Fuckin' a guys, it's a miracle! Didn't have a coughing fit last night for the first time in weeks!! Ain't no seasonal allergies gon hold me back!


-- Post From My iPhone

wednesday evening

i know all of you are desperately concerned, so i just wanted to let everyone know that i do not, in fact, have bronchitis.  the allergist gave me some steroids so i can stop fucking coughing all the time.  this is good, though i wish i hadn't waited so long to go..

i'm at my house right now and it's eighty five degrees in the shade.  just a few minutes ago, i was standing outside on the front sidewalk and just looked out over the yard and the circle and thought about all the stupid shit i'd done there.  finally it feels like summer, and being here feels like the past eighteen summers.  it also makes me never want to leave the area, despite the fact that there are significantly more interesting etc places.

i'm killing time, waiting for my mother's new cd, the man previously known as cat steven's new one, to rip onto the computer.  here is my favorite crime watch published in this week's birmingham bloomfield eagle:

Phone stolen

BIRMINGHAM - A patron of the Palladium theater put his cell phone on his lap and 

watched the Star Trek movie. When he left, he realized that he had not put his phone back 

in his pocket so he went back to look for it, but it was gone. Later, police said, the man got

a call on a different phone from the unknown person who had his lost phone and wanted $150

in cash. Police said they set up a sting operation, but the person never followed through to 

return the phone.

Literally, that is the most interesting one in there.  

Usually the crime watch features headlines such as Young children frolicking happily

down sidewalk upset elder Birmingham resident or 

Birmingham Groves student is not invited to party on terms of his loserdom, 

sues for defamation of character or other shit like that. WHY THE FUCK ARE THE 

POLICE FOOLING AROUND WITH SETTING UP A STING OPERATION FOR A STOLEN 

PHONE?? probably because there were no parties to bust that night.

It's done. Off to Emily's lacrosse game and shit.

I know it's been awhile

Hi dan, mary, chanel, carrie, bess, and jaleesa. Bess, I just left you a great message. Mary, I just saw who you would've been had you gotten that chihuahua. Carrie, you are sitting across from me in the garage on the faux-suede. Chanel, it was nice talking to you at java hut earlier. Jaleesa, I bet your day is continuing wonderfully from the great afternoon we had. Dan, I saw an adorable baby black pug and thought of you.

Tonight is the eve of jon's twentieth birthday and we are sitting in chuck's garage. Eleven eleven and me and the guy I got an mip with two years ago are having a super nerdy but great enthusiastic conversation about psychology and science and I love it. Sometimes I forget how Much I actually care about the less superficial things and just thinking about interesting ideas and being need for cognition.

-- Post From My iPhone

we're going to have fun, goddamnit

everyone is over for dinner at our house right now, and not unexpectedly, conversation at the dinner table quickly took a turn for the worse.  my cousin scott and his fiance are getting married in two weeks, and she brought up the fact that there are a lot of tattoos in her family that will surely be on display.  the conversation degraded quite rapidly as follows:

Chelsea:  My sister has some big tattoos.

Everyone discusses the possibility of Scott and Chelsea getting matching finger tattoos.

Mimi (grandmother):  Remember when [your cousin] Daniel had that thing (an eyebrow ring) in his face?

Everyone discusses how rude all the grandparents were about it.

Mimi turns to me.

Mimi:  Stick out your tongue.  Upon finding it to be tongue ring free, Oh good.

Leyla (aunt):  I don't really see the point to getting one except to...

All the grandchildren:  OH GOD EWW SICK AUNT LEYLA EWW EWW EWWW

Papa (grandfather):  What did they say?

Craig (uncle):  We're talking about tongue rings.

Papa:  Oh, I already knew all about that.

Everyone:  AUHLGJLK SICK GROSS AHH

Meanwhile, Papa is looking quite pleased with himself.  

Mom:  Papa is the biggest pervert here.

Emily:  We need to change the subject now.

Chelsea (cousin's fiance):  So, the cake was delicious.

Craig:  How about them wings?

Scott (cousin):  Quick, Michael, fart on someone to change the subject.

Good. God.

UPDATE

So we decided to play this game after dinner that was sortof like charades but with people's names.  Eliott Spitzer and Monica Lewinski were among the fifty or so cards.  Let's just say that I'd be perfectly happy to never again see a member of my family pantomime giving head ever again.  Also, my grandfather kept asking whose birthday it was.

Reality?

We have lost touch. We ave been in jaleesas on the sofa for three movies plus and it's bizarre. What does normal feel like? I have forgotten.


-- Post From My iPhone

Daily coughing fit apparently impervious to location. Sweet.


-- Post From My iPhone

Harry potter!

Dan is currently wearing a Maroon snuggie. He looks luke he is in harry potter bit is not good. Fuch adult swim. My iPhone

The thing I hate

About the suburbs is that you have to drive everywhere. Right now laura Garavoglia is driving dan, Carrie, and I down woodward. I'm not sure if I'm ecstatic or severely unhappy.

-- Post From My iPhone

An entirely inappropriate quote from young libby

Dan: is sheena pretty?

Libby: it's hard to tell because she's black.

sometimes i wonder if thinking and talking have any sort of relationship..
-- Post From My iPhone

Every morning I wake up and have a coughing fit at this hour. It is bullshit.
-- Post From My iPhone

fersday

...the only thing that makes me angrier is that she actually named her son anferny.

i'm at rvous right now with carrie and debora.  my car has finally been unloaded, thank the lord.  my stay at home was quite successful as i no longer have to starve or go barefoot.  on the way out the door, my mother pulled a twenty dollar bill out of her wallet and while we were both holding an end of it, she looked me in the eyes and said, "don't.  spend.  this.  on.  alcohol."  i laughed.  also of note, my sister and i watched half of antm, but i don't know who got kicked off.  my problem is that i don't like any of the four left, perhaps because i am so annoyed that fo got kicked off.  DUMBASS JUDGES.

You all know how I love to talk about Waterford

This is what Waterford looks like. I am standing on a dock taunting a giant ass swan. It is hissing at me. There is a police siren in the background, per usual. The house next door is for sale for one point five million dollars and has been on the market for over a year. I am not optimistic that it will sell.

My oldest cousin's wedding is in two weeks. His younger brother, aged twenty one, is marrying them. My parents think it is sacreligious. I am not convinced it is not, mainly because he is a dumbass frat boy who became a minister over the Internet.

4:20

Dan and I got into Ann Arbor roundabout 6:30 this morning, a mere, oh, six hours later than we had planned.  fuck capitalizing.  anyways, we had made it all the way across the u.p. by midnight and stopped at this great truck stop diner to eat some food and drink some coffee.  even though the parents were pushing for us to get a motel room (they creep me out), i decided that i was fine to keep driving since we were only four and a half hours from ann arbor.  it would not have been an unfortunate decision had there not been fucking deer all over the side of the road, just waiting, i swear to god, to jump out and kill us.  after seeing number nine (and seeing even fewer cars), i started shouting FUCK THIS FUCK THIS.  dan did not acknowledge it.  so we stopped at a rest stop for a little while and kept going, only to encounter another SEVENTEEN deer.  finally, they were gone and i was okay.

rolling into town so early is really bizarre.  with the sort of flat light before the sun has truly come up and the streets empty, ann arbor is so different.  fuck.  i just realized i have no money.  or food, for that matter.

the real issue at hand right now is that i'm sitting in the psych atrium mooching their wifi because i don't want to unpack my car or go look for a job or do anything.  my best accomplishments in the two hours since i've been up are to shower and pick up your prints, mary.  i'm trying to decide whether i can legitimately drive my car to bloomfield hills entirely full, like entirely, without getting arrested.  i just need to get to my grandparents house in the next couple of days to ask my grandfather to help me build a chicken coop for those dirty animals.  i was thinking, do chickens need sunlight?  because they're getting all big and not cute and actual chicken like, i have to leave a flattened box on top so they don't hop out and shit all over the place, but it seems that they could probably benefit from being outside or something.  hmm.  i think that's the least of my concerns at the moment.  alright, i just decided, i'm not going to unpack that shit right this second. nope.  won't do it.  can't nobody make me. 

Gahhhleee

Oh hey everyone
Guess I've got my first blog now. This is probably going to join the ranks of facebook and perezhilton in my group of time wasting websites, though I guess I don't actually have schoolwork to not be doing anymore...
Anyways, at the moment, dan and I are in the upper peninsula, despite Chanel's warning to watch out for the Nazi people. We've been in the car for around eight hours already and probably have about as many to go. I just saw a horse eating some grass out the window. Did any of you know that wisconsiners fucking love PBR? I swear to god, every bar we drove by on the slow-ass country freeway had a light up pbr sign outside. Some bitch in a truck just gave us both a pity look. I mean, we are dirty and I'm wearing the brodyke shirt, but certainly not pity worthy. This has been am interesting trip, to say the least, but I think what best sums it up is that st Olaf and macalester parties suck. A lot. Woops. Regardless, we have taken a shit ton of pictures and probably did more interesting things than we would have at home. Okay, bye





-- Post From My iPhone