we're going to have fun, goddamnit

everyone is over for dinner at our house right now, and not unexpectedly, conversation at the dinner table quickly took a turn for the worse.  my cousin scott and his fiance are getting married in two weeks, and she brought up the fact that there are a lot of tattoos in her family that will surely be on display.  the conversation degraded quite rapidly as follows:

Chelsea:  My sister has some big tattoos.

Everyone discusses the possibility of Scott and Chelsea getting matching finger tattoos.

Mimi (grandmother):  Remember when [your cousin] Daniel had that thing (an eyebrow ring) in his face?

Everyone discusses how rude all the grandparents were about it.

Mimi turns to me.

Mimi:  Stick out your tongue.  Upon finding it to be tongue ring free, Oh good.

Leyla (aunt):  I don't really see the point to getting one except to...

All the grandchildren:  OH GOD EWW SICK AUNT LEYLA EWW EWW EWWW

Papa (grandfather):  What did they say?

Craig (uncle):  We're talking about tongue rings.

Papa:  Oh, I already knew all about that.

Everyone:  AUHLGJLK SICK GROSS AHH

Meanwhile, Papa is looking quite pleased with himself.  

Mom:  Papa is the biggest pervert here.

Emily:  We need to change the subject now.

Chelsea (cousin's fiance):  So, the cake was delicious.

Craig:  How about them wings?

Scott (cousin):  Quick, Michael, fart on someone to change the subject.

Good. God.

UPDATE

So we decided to play this game after dinner that was sortof like charades but with people's names.  Eliott Spitzer and Monica Lewinski were among the fifty or so cards.  Let's just say that I'd be perfectly happy to never again see a member of my family pantomime giving head ever again.  Also, my grandfather kept asking whose birthday it was.